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Random Wichita Falls Police Snippets
Contributor: Lt. (Retired) Chet "Chalk Fairy" Chester III, grandson of the Space Alien Attack Officer Chester. This is a work in progress.
A local TV station interviewed a WFPD officer on the security detail at our first Falls Fest. Remember those? It was fun, games, food, and music in Lucy Park. The officer's most notable observation: "I've never seen so many fat women in all my life." Yes, the powers that be gave him a serious talking-to.
A Wichita Falls police officer attempted to stop a speeder on the north side of town. The speeder continued speeding northward into Burkburnett, traveling at a maximum speed of 105 MPH, as paced by the pursuing officer. The speeder decided it was best to end the game and stopped soon after exiting the highway. His excuse: He was late for traffic court in Burkburnett. He didn’t make it.
The Wheel Burglars & Doo Doo Bombers. It was the 1980s and someone was tossing car wheels through business windows and helping themselves to the goodies inside. Radio Shack in Parker Square had been hit. They put one of their display video cameras to use and caught the burglars in the act. In the early 1990s, at a religious organization near Midwestern State University, someone had defecated on the office sofa, twice. A hidden camera caught the third act of the steaming hot donation being made. The bomber was jailed.
WFPD Sergeant to police academy class: "If you don't think women live longer than men, go into Luby's sometime and look at all the “widow women” in there.
A man shot himself with a high-powered rifle. He died. What he probably didn't plan on was the bullet going through him and into his neighbor's kitchen. Luckily, no one was in that kitchen.
It was the mid-to-late 1970s, at the Piggly Wiggly store located at 7th & Eastside (now MLK). An off-duty police officer, working security, had posted himself in an elevated position behind the back wall where he could watch the floor through several peepholes. For reasons known only to the officer, he decided to check his revolver, and BOOM!, a round went through the wall. No one was hurt, and the officer said no one appeared to connect the noise with a gunshot. Fast-forward a few years to the Gibson's Discount Center on Kell. An off-duty officer working security had to take a restroom break, a break that required a seated position. While seated, and for reasons known only to the officer, he checked his revolver, and BOOM!, there was a hole in the door. Again, no injuries and no one reported even hearing the shot. The shot did shorten the officer's potty break in an unexpected way.
A young man was driving north on North Scott Ave over the North Scott bridge. He was not able to hold the car on the curve as he approached Sheppard Access Road. The car slid off the roadway and struck a utility pole with the front passenger door. His mother, sitting in that seat, did not survive.
At the WFPD, an officer was putting the finishing touches on the narrative portion of an accident report. His mind must have drifted to a recent birthday party because he wrote: "Unit #2 struck a curb and blew out two candles." I'm not making this up! Of course, a supervisor had him correct the report.
Decades ago, a large decorative fountain stood in the middle of one of our streets. It might have been Pennsylvania. One afternoon, a man drove to the fountain to find several kids nearby. He told them to get out of the way. He drove down the street, turned around, accelerated toward the fountain, and struck it, killing himself. I'm sure those kids will never forget that. I didn't see it happen, but I did see what was left of the fountain. Those were the days when you could listen to police calls on your scanner at 460.350, 460.225, and 460.275 MHz. Were you tuned in?
If you're an old-timer, you'll remember when the Texas Department of Public Safety was located on the southeast corner of Kemp and Avenue K. If you're a real old-timer, you'll remember when it was located in that strip shopping center at 10th and Beverly. Back in those days, if you lost your Driver License (that's right, Driver, not Drivers or Driver’s), you had to send a telegram to the DPS in Austin requesting proof of your license by return telegram. You took this confirmation to the local office.
In 1982, scanner listeners might have picked up on the fact that, during a period of fewer than 24 hours, there were five homicides in little Wichita Falls, Texas. A wrecker driver and customer shot and killed each other, an intruder was shot and killed, and a body was found in a field. I can't remember what the 5th homicide was, but if it comes to me, I'll update this post. I do know the series of events got calls from several distant news agencies.
At a "talk" given by a former Personnel Director, I was amused to learn that solvency issues with the City's health insurance plan were the direct result of "sanitation workers and all their kids." Yes. I'm not making this up.
Police officers shoot lockers, walls, televisions, closets full of clothes, feet, legs, holsters, the ground, the air, and other stuff, just like the general public. I don't know what it's like now, but "back in the day" it was an automatic three-day suspension if it happened on duty.
In the early morning hours, police were dispatched to Hirschi High School on a burglar alarm. There was no burglar, only a young couple doing "you know what" against a door at the back of the building. They were still in the act when officers arrived, pounding against the door so hard the alarm was activated.
The WFPD was recruiting for an upcoming academy. A physical assessment test was being conducted. Part of the assessment was a body fat measurement, taken with calipers. On this occasion, the measurement was being taken by an officer who was obviously overweight and above the limit set for candidates. The fact that this officer was rejecting candidates for having body fat above the limt was amusing. The rejectees probably weren't laughing.
The crime prevention experts will tell you to stop your newspaper and mail delivery while you're out of town. Sounds good. I did this several years ago when I took a three-day break. I did it even knowing that decades before, a rogue newspaper employee had been providing burglars with this "out of town" information. When I returned, I found a mailbox stuffed with mail and three newspapers in my yard. I'm serious. Who could ask for a better "Nobody's Home" sign? How could both the Post Office and the newspaper office fail at the same time? From then on, I had a trusted neighbor watch my house.
At a Wichita Falls convenience store, a female employee complained that a police officer would not, despite her requests, stop what she described as flirting that had become harassment. Undercover officers were stationed inside the walk-in refrigerator, video equipment on standby. Sure enough, the suspect officer came by, and the event was recorded. I don't know what transpired, but the officer was either fired or he resigned just in time.
In the early 1980s, on the night shift, a man was found passed out across one of the two sets of train tracks behind what was then the Railroad Inn at Iowa Park Road and North Broadway. A train driver going by on the other tracks reported the incident! It is unknown if the man passed out there or was helped there by others. He had a 50% chance of having a split personality, and a split everything else!
Back in the day, it was not uncommon for Wichita Falls police officers to set up driver license checkpoints. What was uncommon was to find these checkpoints in the south and southwest parts of town. These checkpoints were typically located in the east and southeast parts of town, and sometimes the north side. It is unknown if this Gestapo tactic is still in use. Hopefully not. And yes, Texas has a Driver License, not a Driver’s or Drivers License. In Texas? Whip yours out and look. Then, there were the bar checks. Still doing those?
In the early 1980s, the WFPD night shift officers working the northside beat had CB radios in their patrol cars. They would chat with each other and any CB Radio-equipped citizens who were awake. The radios gave them something to do at 3:00 AM while checking businesses for burglars. These Northside officers even adopted "Official Northside Gloves", which were tan Wells Lamont leather gloves dyed black. They started with tan, but the Shift Commander said the gloves had to be black. The common practice was to paint the gloves with shoe dye. One officer, who will remain unnamed, used RIT dye in very hot water. He dropped his Wells Lamont gloves - not exactly cheap - into the water where they turned black, shrunk to 20% of their original size, and became hard as a rock when dry! They were a hit at shift briefing that night.
Did you know officers catching burglars buy donuts for the shift? The word is that's still the policy today. This practice was the opposite of the short-lived "burglar pot," where night shift officers would contribute money, with the prize awarded to the officer(s) catching a burglar in the act. Supervisors put a quick end to this practice. They didn't want defense attorneys claiming that an officer, needing money, threw his client through a business window to claim the prize!
I checked the shift mailbox before the shift for any relevant news. There was a note from the Information Desk that an officer had called in sick—the reason: sore testicles. When I finished the first round of laughing, I checked with the desk to verify the note. The desk officer, a female, verified the note. I called the officer because, well, because I just had to make sure he was OK. Upon learning that his testicles were sore, he assured me he said he had a sore throat and nothing close to sore testicles. How the desk officer came up with testicles, I don't know. I don't want to know.
It was a bright and sunny afternoon when police received a call of two young boys at a house alongside the expressway using a large mirror to beam sunlight into the eyes of drivers passing by. The two, concentrating on their aim, did not see the officer approaching and were caught in the act. Police discussed the incident with the boy's parents. Since no accidents occurred and no cars went up in flames from direct hits of the sunbeams, the police took no further action. Unknown what parental action occurred, if any.
I have no idea what the policy is today, but not too many years ago it was the official policy of the Wichita Falls Police Department to not cite people for jaywalking. The reason was that the offense had never been enforced - at least not in any living person's lifetime - and would not be enforced unless and until a public information campaign announcing enforcement was launched.
Many years ago, a local bank called the police when several men at the drive-thru tried to cash a $700 check from an older woman under suspicious circumstances. When questioned, the men said the check was for work done on the woman's house foundation. Police checked with the woman at her home. She told police the men, who claimed to make foundation repairs, noticed defects in her foundation. It was a pier and beam foundation. She hired them to make repairs. Police, looking into the crawl space, could see that someone had hammered a half-dozen cheap wooden shims into various places. That was the extent of the repair. The woman thanked the bank and the police for investigating. She was happy to get the check back but did not want to pursue civil or criminal action.
When the 1979 tornado hit Wichita Falls, the Wichita Falls Police Department lost its radio repeater due to the power outage. Since the police vehicle radios had a simplex channel, communications were not lost entirely. Officers could communicate with each other but not with dispatch. During those days, dispatch could listen but not transmit on the simplex frequency. However, important information made its way to officers by simple relaying. A patrol car on an overpass made a good information relay tool. Since much of the town lost the ability to call the police department, dispatchers initially had little information to give to officers. In reality, officers found plenty of work to do on their own.
It was a surprise for me to learn, early in my law enforcement career, about the number of people in Wichita Falls who had and may still have federally licensed, full-automatic weapons. No, I didn't have exact numbers, but I got the feeling over the years that it was certainly more than a handful. By the way, if you ever have the urge to fire weapons in the full-automatic mode, try Mr. Guns in Plano, Texas. They have a large assortment to choose from and a nice gun range. It's not cheap, but it's reasonable.
It was the wheel deal! A man went to the police station to get a car out of impound that a family member had abandoned blocking an exit on the highway. He said he was told that he might need to replace a tire. He was informed that he would need 4 tires because they had been driven completely off the wheels. When that little shock wore off he was told that he would also need 4 new wheels because they had been driven down to the hubs. He was not happy.
Several WFPD officers took morning coffee breaks at the Old Holiday Inn East on E. Scott. One morning, one of those officers, off duty and entertaining out-of-town guests, chose the Holiday Inn restaurant for breakfast. The waitress attended to the group for several minutes before recognizing the officer. She said to the officer, in a voice loud enough for the whole dining room to hear: "Oh, I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" The room erupted in laughter.
A kid, playing with a gun, accidentally shot his friend in the face. Luckily, it was a small-caliber weapon and, luckily, the bullet entered and exited the cheek. No major damage was done, unless there was nerve damage. This was not determined at the scene. You know the old saying: With friends like that, who needs enemies?
Wichita Falls police responded to an after-hours burglar alarm at a local office. A representative met the officer(s), unlocked the door, and made the error of entering first. The threat didn't come from inside, as one might think, but from behind. The officer, weapon drawn, slipped on a hackberry and fired a round past the representative and into a wall. Trigger discipline wasn't much of a thing back in those days.
Have you noticed the number of TV cop shows featuring "plain clothes" officers with their guns shoved around to the front? What are directors thinking? No cop would wear a gun like that. You're TV cops - we know you have a gun. No need to stick it in our faces.
Texas issues a Driver License, not a Drivers License or Driver's License. I know everyone adds the "s", but it's not there. Whip yours out and you'll see.
It was "back in the day" when the rear doors on WFPD patrol cars did not lock. Of course, there was no handle on the inside, but anyone could open those doors from the outside. It was not unheard of for the friend of an arrested person to open the door when the police were not looking. What was uncommon was this: Several officers were on break at the Pioneer #3 restaurant. Another officer, dropped off at the restaurant, climbed into the back seat of one of the patrol cars and hid below the cage barrier. When the officer/driver returned to that vehicle, the hiding officer activated a tape recorder. Remember those? In the resulting recording, played in briefing the next day, the driver starts the car and makes his way while humming a tune north on I-44. The hiding officer then sprang upright, screamed, and banged the cage. The driver screamed several choice words, as might be expected. What was unexpected was the unique sound (a rapid and loud CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK) of an automatic transmission being thrown into "Park" at highway speed. It was some time before the hiding officer was released from the back seat. Unknown if the transmission was damaged.
At the WFPD, back in the day, the old radio system did not identify the transmitting officer. Therefore, funny noises on the radio were not uncommon. A few officers would turn on their portable radio, key the car radio, place the car radio microphone near the portable radio, move it back and forth, and cause a wavering feedback squeal. After one event, a dispatcher yelled, "Stop it! Y'all are coming in my ear!"
An attorney - now deceased - drove his client to the city impound facility to pick up the client's vehicle. At the time, the impound facility was on Sunset, just off Seymour Highway. The client was about to exit the lot onto Sunset. The lawyer was close behind. The client stopped suddenly due to traffic on Sunset. The lawyer did not stop. Parts flew everywhere. This particular lawyer was known for a few other antics. He once climbed a tree across the street from the courthouse to avoid an arrest. It didn't work out in his favor.
A WFPD patrol car had a defective public address (PA) system. When you turned it on, it emitted a high-pitched squeal. The higher you raised the volume, the more annoying it became. It wasn't very usable as a PA but was accidentally found to drive dogs crazy. Some dogs would seemingly writhe in pain, while some would chase the car with a vengeance. One hound was so focused on the car that it ran into a tree. It was rumored that officers left a note in the car asking other shifts not to have it repaired. At least not for a few more days.
So I could say I worked in the Criminal Justice system at the city, county, state, and federal levels. I did a six-month stint at the Wichita County Jail. Yes, I'm counting Army MP time as federal. Get over it! Anyway, I was walking by a "tank" at the Jail Annex, formerly the Sprague factory, when an old inmate said: "Boss Man, I need an I-60." I laughed and said, "I know where you've been!" An I-60 is a Texas state prison form used to request various things. If I remember correctly, at the County Jail, they just called them a "kite." For example, there are 20 inmates in a tank. If they wanted someone moved out, they could submit a "kite" signed by at least 11 inmates. He'd be kited out! I don't remember what Mr. I-60 was requesting.
Sometimes, when I shop at the United Supermarket at 2522 Iowa Park Road, I am reminded of the fire at the small apartment building that once stood at this address. In August of 1983, the apartment building caught fire in the early morning hours. The smoke was so intense you couldn't tell what was on fire. When firefighters extinguished the fire, a man was found dead in the bathtub in one of the apartments. He was fully clothed. Was he trapped in that location and intended to get wet as a defense against the flames? It appeared that the smoke got to him before he could take any other action.
Have you noticed reflective tape on the windows of some Wichita Falls businesses in your late-night driving adventures? I don't know what the practice is today, but back in the 1970s and '80s, police officers would, with permission from the business owner, put small pieces of reflective tape in the center of the windows. This made it easy for officers on the night shift to tell if the window was intact by shining a spotlight on the building as they drove by. Dirty windows could be seen easily, but clean ones could disappear. The cleaner the window, the more valuable the tape. It's unknown if this is still a thing.
Headline - "Former WFPD officer involved in standoffs sentenced." If you've read the story, you might wonder how he slipped through the pre-employment psych evaluation. Then, an officer turned in a burglary report, observing that the burglar had gone through the victim's "chester drawers." In another incident, a Field Training Officer wrote, in his evaluation of a "recruit" officer, that the officer "missed spelled" quite a few words. The takeaway: The WFPD hires from the human race like any other company. You're never sure exactly what you're going to get. By the way, when I was hired there was no such thing as a pre-employment psych evaluation.
Over 30 years ago, a police officer from the area resigned from his agency and joined the U.S. Border Patrol. He resigned from the Border Patrol after just a few years. He said they didn't want to work. Make of it what you will.
It was a Saturday evening in the early 1990s when the call of a family disturbance on Farris Street came in. A woman reported being assaulted by her husband and was not being allowed to leave the house. Police arrived, heard arguing going on inside, and knocked on the door but got no response. A scream from inside was all they needed to force the door open. As they burst into the living room, a perfectly-timed Cops TV show Bad Boys theme erupted from the television. The woman had minor injuries. A suspect was arrested.
I was driving on Elizabeth, Lucille, or one of those streets when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a small kid on the sidewalk wave at me. I waved back at about the same time I noticed that he wasn't waving. He had locked onto me with his middle finger and tracked me with it as I drove by. He looked to be about 5 years old. I was careful not to let him see me laugh.
It was the early 1980s at the old Gibson's Discount Center at 12th and Ohio in downtown Wichita Falls. Money was missing, on a semi-regular basis, from the coffee payment jar in the break room. Management had a female suspect in mind. Store security, and an off-duty but in-uniform WFPD officer, was briefed. The officer located a hole in one of the product shelf units where he could see into the break room. Before long, he saw the suspect enter the break room. Looking through the hole, he saw the suspect go straight to the can, take out the coins, and put them into her bra. He met her as she exited the break room and gave her the bad news. It wasn't the Brinks robbery, but she lost her job. The officer said he saw her at the mall years later and they had a laugh about it.
About 30 years ago, two young men were stopped for speeding (racing) in Wichita Falls. The investigation revealed that they were employees of a local car dealership and were in cars belonging to customers. Record your odometer reading.
An older couple entered the police station and approached the Information Desk. Some called it the Front Desk, but since there was no Back Desk, I preferred to call it the Information Desk. Just as the couple reached the window, each produced - the man from his pocket and the woman from her purse - identical .45 caliber semi-automatic pistols. Before I could react (translation: dive under the desk), they placed the pistols on the counter, with the man saying, "We'd like to register these." I informed the couple that gun registration was not a thing in the Great State of Texas.
It was the end of the shift, and an officer was completing a major accident report in the lounge of the police station. Because it was an accident with injuries, the officer could not use the small diagram block on the state accident report. Instead, a more detailed diagram on an 8 x 10" sheet of paper was required. Having completed the state accident report form and most of the diagram, the officer had to go to his car for something. He left the report on the table. The idea hit me suddenly, and I had to act fast. I scooped up the accident report, ran into the records section, made a copy of the report and diagram, ran back to the lounge, put the copy of the report and diagram on the table, purchased a cup of coffee from the vending machine, poured half of it in the sink, poured the other half on the accident report and diagram, and left the cup, on its side, on the table. I took a seat with other officers in the lounge. The officer came back into the lounge, saw the report, screamed various words in an unknown language, and began looking for someone to kill. I handed him the original report before he could pass out from anger. It took him several minutes to crack a smile in appreciation of the prank.
I passed by an officer's desk in the Criminal Investigation Section. He was standing a few feet away, talking to other officers, when I grabbed a cookie from an open package on his desk. I popped it into my mouth before he could say anything. That "anything" was "Stop! That's evidence in a food tampering case!" As I was spitting it out, I noticed everyone else in the room was laughing. The cookie owner said, "Got you!"
I was working the Second Shift - from 3 PM to 11 PM. At the start of the shift, I was assigned to escort a parade float from Memorial Stadium to Sheppard Air Force Base. I don't remember what the parade was about, but it had ended, and it was time to get the float back to the base. The problem? My patrol car "idled" faster than the float could travel. I was behind the float to keep traffic from slamming into it and continuously tapping the brake to keep myself from running over it! I suggested to supervisors that SAFB needed to load this thing on a trailer, but no such luck for me. It took the whole shift to get the job done.
I was working the "Northside" beat when I heard the Downtown beat officers dispatched to a call of a nude woman walking on Ohio Street. I was still considered a rookie but damned if I wasn't going to defy the rules and leave my beat - undispatched - to see a nude woman. So, I left my beat. I arrived in time to see the woman in all her nudist glory. All 439 pounds. On that day, I learned that a woman walking around nude is probably a little off-centered and might have specific issues that would preclude her from being one of Hugh Hefner's first choices. I ignored the several other "nude woman" reports not on my beat.
It was 1982, and the day shift (First Shift) was nearing an end when the dispatcher notified all officers that there would be a meeting in the training room, called by the Chief of Police. In this meeting, the chief informed the officers that he was getting tired of attending civic and other meetings and being asked why officers were farting on the radio all the time. Remember, this was a time when many people had scanner radios and monitored the then non-encrypted police radio communications. The chief told the group he had a “couple of suspects” but couldn’t prove anything. Again, this was a time when radio equipment didn’t identify the transmitting officer. Most officers were well aware of the identity of the gaseous suspects, but remained silent. The frequency of farts declined immediately, dropping close, but not completely, to zero. According to legend, Suspect #1 was in the radio room, talking to a shift sergeant, when a gaseous blast erupted from the main radio. Suspect #1 believed he had been exonerated and cheerfully told Suspect #2 how his ill-timed and ill-mannered fart had cleared him. Not long after, Suspect #2 went on vacation. During this time, no farts were heard over the radio. Suspect #2 returned from vacation, got into his car, and reported “10-8” on the radio. He had barely unkeyed the microphone when Suspect #1 gave him a welcome-back blast, further pointing the finger at him. The game faded away with no suspect being charged.